Posted in Journeys into....

Being a Comparison Addict

Comparison is the thief of joy – Theodore Roosevelt

Now I’m going to start by saying, if comparing yourself to people was a sport, I would most definitely win gold at the Olympics for it. That makes it sound like it’s a good thing, but obviously we all know that it’s not. It’s like a drug habit you just can’t kick. You hate it, but you can’t stop doing it. Like when I zoom into that picture to see if she has as much cellulite as I do, or when you see countless holiday snaps from people and wonder how the hell are they affording this, I can barely afford to go to Stoke. OK I am joking, that was an Alan Partridge reference, I can really afford to go to Stoke.

I can’t remember a time in my life where I haven’t compared my life to someone elses and longed for mine to be just a bit more like theirs. How sad is that!? My husband and I were chatting in the car the other day and the topic of ‘comparison’ came up. We talked about how we always thought our friends home life seemed so much ‘better’ than ours. Obviously we don’t believe that they actually were now, looking back. But it got me thinking….

Never be enough, for me – The Greatest Showman

The song ‘Never Be Enough’ from The Greatest Showman comes to mind, although it does also come to mind when I eat chocolate, I never feel satisfied. But on a serious note, it’s like no matter how much I achieve or how ‘better’ I get at something, there is always someone bigger and better that I think I should be more like. Sometimes it totally consumes me and I let it fester in my mind until I explode and what usually happens when I ‘explode’ is I have a little cry to my husband and we talk about it until I’m back to feeling OK. For me that seems to work, but it’s only temporary and as a self-confessed comparison addict I’m always searching for the long-term cure.

I wake up every morning believing today is going to be better than yesterday – Will Smith

Positive thinking is everything!! Why aren’t more people trying it? Please don’t hate me and think I don’t know what it’s like to go through bad times. I may be young but believe me when I say, it’s not all been rainbows and butterflies and unicorns and candy floss and…OK I’ll stop. The sceptics will say ‘How does positive thinking stop me from comparing myself to other people?’ For me, I specifically focus on reminding myself of all the positive things in my life.

When I fell pregnant with my daughter, I was far from ready.  I was living with my mum still, I was not with the Father and was 6 months into a new job that had great prospects. I had firmly fallen into a NEGATIVE state of mind, I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. What is my Mum going to say? How is the Father going to react? Is my Boss going to sack me on the spot?! These were the thoughts that went through my head, along with 1000 others. These thoughts became irrational and I couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I was comparing myself to other people, my friends, other expecting Mothers, anyone and everyone who seemed on the face of it to be living a way better life than me. UNTIL, I unlocked my very own ‘UNAGI’ (Where my friends fans at?!) What I mean by that is I found this miraculous, amazing thing called POSITIVE THINKING!!

I reminded myself that I had family around me that weren’t going to let me struggle, that the Father of my unborn baby was a pretty decent guy (who is now my husband) and that I was actually really lucky I even had a job. From here on in when shit hits the fan my immediate reaction is no longer doom and gloom, I will always try to remain positive.

Positive thinking doesn’t stop me from comparing myself to other people, it’s something I’ll probably always do, but it does make me realise, there is no comparison.

There is no comparison to you! You are unique and nobody else has your life. Your main focus can’t be losing a few pounds to look more like somebody else or getting a new job to have more money so you can go on fancy holidays like your ‘friends’ on Facebook. Your main focus HAS to be things that genuinely make you happy. If you can’t do the things that make you happy, think about them and set goals until you can do them. Don’t waste your time thinking someone else is living a better life than you, instead, just live a better life.

I’m still a recovering ‘comparison addict’ but the power of positive thinking is my road to recovery.

Your story is unique and so so different….and not worthy of comparison – UNKNOWN

 

4 thoughts on “Being a Comparison Addict

  1. So true! You are the only you In this world and we shouldn’t deny the world and ourselves from truly being us.

    This is such a good blog post and I can’t really relate to how you felt when you fell pregnant with your little girl. I felt the same way with Arthur but my partner is so supportive and I have AMAZING family.

    Loved this post

    Like

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